we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
