quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Randomize
