Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
