hell yes lets make some ravioli
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
