When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
