Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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