I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Randomize
