You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
