did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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