Will you blow on my dice?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
