just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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