AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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