Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
