Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
