I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
