Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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