Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
