he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
