I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Randomize
