her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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