Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
