We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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