if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
