Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
