I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
