JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
