did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
