i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
worst night to have a conscience
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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