i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
