I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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