Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
