your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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