tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
