u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
