i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
