I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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