1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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