Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
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