Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
false alarm, still single
Randomize
