I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
why is half of my head shaved?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
