Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
