if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize