My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
