i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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