great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
