I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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