I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize