You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
