Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
