is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
