"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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