yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
