oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I wear drunk well.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
