OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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