he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
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