Is it because I queefed?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
