My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
