There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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