She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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