You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
