you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
