I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
