Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Randomize
