does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize