why didn't you poke me back
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize